The story behind the title...

Several years ago (over four to be exact) I was engaged to a very attractive young lady. We decided early on in our engagement that we would do our best to be "good" before we were married. One night we were talking and according to my version of the story I decided that I wanted to make sure that after we were officially married that there would be plenty of time to be alone with my wife without the interruptions of little feet coming into the bedroom. Every couple needs alone time for a healthy marriage, and everyone who knows me KNOWS I like to be healthy. So as I recall my bride laughed at me and said in essence "good luck" and don't be surprised if I don't get my way on that. Now I have tell you another story to finish this one...

When I was growing up I was the second of four boys. We were typical boys who liked to rough house. Occasionally, like on my 12th birthday, I MIGHT have been in the hospital getting a splint due to a minor altercation between me and the oldest...(his fault :) ). Anyway, over the years there were several times that due to some good clean fun like throwing rocks at each other's heads that one of us was bleeding. Now my Mom was your typical Mom in many ways, but she was no Leave it to Beaver June Cleaver. She was a working Mom at the local hospital that didn't like being woke up to me bleeding like I was scalped and needing seven stitches because I thought I missed that last rock. I really thought I did miss it too. I was more upset I got hit than the fact I was bleeding. Well my Mom was not very happy. She was very efficient about dipping my head in the bathroom sink, rushing me to the doctor, and doling out punishment. She also coined the phrase "DON'T BLEED ON MY CARPET!" So we in the clan affectionately refer to the first motherly instinct of dealing with mortal peril as "don't bleed on my carpet". Who cares that your dying, just get off the carpet! Some other time I'll have to tell you about "You PUKE, you CLEAN IT YOURSELF". So back to my story...

So as I was laying there with my bride-to-be talking about the kids that would eventually be interrupting my healthy time and I told her the story of "DON'T BLEED ON MY CARPET". I have traveled many times with work, including during our engagement. Shortly after we were married I was deployed for 8 months to Louisiana. In order to get a little privacy the best thing to do in a hotel is to hang the sign on the door that says "DO NOT DISTURB". Well as I was thinking about my healthy time I decided that the sign was a great idea but the message wasn't strong enough, and in the spirit of "DON'T BLEED ON MY CARPET" I coined the phrase "DON'T KNOCK UNLESS YOU'RE DYING!". When it comes to precious alone time with my wife, I don't even care about the carpet.

So far we have been married four years and we have two children, ages three and one. Our three year old is now old enough that he wakes up about eight o'clock in the morning, comes through our door, and climbs into bed with us. Last night I was diligent in helping him learn his ABC's by reading to him the Thomas the Tank Engine ABC Book. He is doing great. Little does he know that I secretly want him to be able to read early because I want him to be able to read my SIGN when I hang it.....