It's time to talk about the D word...Depression

One of the largest plagues affecting society is depression. It's insidious because it's nearly invisible. It's invisible because many who are affected by it are shamed by it. In most people's eyes it makes you less, including the victims. It's also invisible because, like other mental illness, a person facing depression looks fine.  They usually have two arms, two legs, and hair.  There is no wristband or colored ribbon campaign to distinguish it and make it popular. Many employers actually inadvertently discriminate against a person once they state they have depression.  Many spouses I have talked to do not know how to support their spouse with depression, which can lead to the other D word....divorce. The purpose of this blog is to end the silence, begin the awareness, and provide the tools people need to cope and heal.

Depression Myths

It's time to debunk some myths. This is critical to proper awareness, and steps towards getting help as a spouse or friend and healing as a person diagnosed with depression.

Myth 1: People choose to get depressed.

This could not be farther from the truth. Depression comes in many forms.  Some forms of depression are genetic. Several forms of depression are the result of a chemical imbalance, or a hormone imbalance due to pregnancy, menopause, or another disease affecting your chemical makeup.

The form of depression I face is the result of  years of stress adding up, resulting in what I call onset depression.  For the past 9 years I have supported a spouse with depression, a career, the pregnancy and birth of four beautiful but stressful children, and health issues of my own.  Your body is like a car.  If you don't take care of it, maintain it, and give it gas, it will break down.  Some may argue that if I didn't choose to take care of myself  then I choose to have depression. That's like saying if I choose to drive a car then I choose to get in a wreck. That's absurd. Our choices do create risks. If you eat a donut every morning, you might gain weight. You might get a heart condition.  It might kill you!  But no one wakes up one morning and says "I think I will go get depressed today!"  Like diabetes, depression comes in many types and affects both the healthy and unhealthy.

Myth 2:  If you or someone you know is depressed, there is nothing you can do about it.

This is a flat lie. Depression can be treated. But also like diabetes, addressing depression is a life changer.  You don't just take a happy pill and it all goes away. Treatment includes education, communication, exercise, and in some cases medication.  Exercise is the number 1 method for managing depression.  I also highly recommend counseling. Mental health professionals can give you the tools to cope.  When your car breaks down, you can try and fix it yourself, but your better off consulting a mechanic. When you're sick you need a doctor. When you have depression, you need a counselor. It's that simple. 

In the coming blogs I will be discussing depression, from both the depressed person and the person living with them.

In the meantime, WikiHow has great information on depression here:  m.wikihow.com/Cope-with-Depression